A Graphic Designers Rant
RageBeing young and naive, I would ignore these warnings...
"That won't happen to me..."
"They won't be able to resist my designs..."
"Why wouldn't they accept my designs... I AM a full-fledged graphic designer, after all..."
Man.... was I wrong....
The graphic designer faced a new challenge, one they didn't teach him at the university...
Keeping everyone happy.
But not because of the graphic designer lacking the appropriate skills, oh no no no no... they use what they have learned through study, perception and countless hours of experience.... the problem lies with the ever-so-"knowledgeable"... client.
Some clients are too "knowledgeable" for their own good.
You wouldn't go to a mechanic and spent hours at his side, telling him to put the doo-hicky in the doo-dad, nor enter a docters office and start suggesting what he should cut off or presribe to fix the problem.
It just doesn't work that way with any other situation, so why would graphic design be any different.
Graphic designers use the best options for the right reasons to come up with the final design. Changing it because it doesn't look "flashy" or "pretty" doesn't make the client the best designer in the room.
In the end, we as graphic designers are merely trying to help.
We don't give a rats-ass if a clients "upgrades" to our design runs his business into the ground. In the end, all we have to do is keep the client happy to get paid.
So to make sure the client is getting his money's worth, it wouldn't kill him to listen to the graphic designers opinions first, would it?
To sum it up for any client who needs to use a graphic designer, here is a list of 20 things they need to understand beforehand.
#1 - Listen to the graphic designer. He knows what he's doing, at least more than you do. Listen to him and he'll listen to you.
#2 - A graphic designer has nothing against constructive input from a client. In fact, it's this communication between graphic designer and client is what produces the best designs.
When asking a client what he's looking for in his design, there's nothing a graphic designer hates more, than hearing a client say "you're the designer... YOU figure it out!"
We are not mind-readers.
#3 - On the other hand, don't be too demanding for your design. Let the designer explore his creativity. I mean, that IS why you went to one, isn't it?
#4 - Be nice to a designer, being nice costs nothing.
The nicer you are to the designer, the more effort he'll probably put into your design.
Be mean, however... and your company logo might end up subliminally resembling a male reproductive organ.
#5 - 'Eye-candy' is a term used by graphic designers.
As a client, you would want 'eye-candy', and a graphic designer would try to avoid the 'eye-candy'.
What is 'eye-candy' you ask?
All you need to know is, 'eye-candy' makes people go "Ohhhhh" for your design... then walk away, forgetting about it completely.
#6 - A graphic designer CAN design. Bringing in something you scribbled one morning in MS Paint and thought it looked cool isn't going to make our job easier, but thank you for the thought.
In fact, we will spend more time trying to SAVE your design more than anything else.
#7 - Even after this, if you still want to use your own design, bring them in a format that most graphic design application can recognize. A PDF is a great example of one such graphic design application format.
Microsoft Word, on the other hand, is NOT a great example of a graphic design application format, nor is Microsoft Powerpoint or Microsoft Excel. Using the various borders and wingdings provided by these programs do NOT make you a graphic designer.
#8 - Do not bring your designs on a stiffy disc... the stiffy is dead... let it go...
#9 - If you find a nice image you want in your design off the internet, chances are it's about as big as a matchbook when printed.
Vectors are, in most cases, better than jpegs... for obvious reasons
While your jpeg design looked great on the PC screen, the end result on your A0 printout is pixels the size of hubcaps.
#10 - You can assist a graphic designer by giving him notes of your ideas or information that's required on the design.
If these 'notes' happen to be a J.K. Rowling napkin note, that looked like it was written by a spastic doctor writing with his eyeballs, then it won't help at all.
Even spell-checkers have their limits.
#11 - Graphic designers can only do so much, and we have our limit to what we can do.
Making our designs move like in the Harry Potter movies is one of the things we can't do.
#12 - Most graphic design companies have a lot of fonts at their disposal. The graphic designer will, by default, use the best font for the current design. Wanting to casually 'check' through them all to find something better could take you about half a day. Don't waste everybody's time.
#13 - The Comic-Sans font is used for comics. They do not make your business look professional. Trust us on this...
#14 - Yes, using blinding bright pinks and purples will make your design more eye-catching, but for all the wrong reasons.
#15 - Gradients is not a given. Every design out there do not have to have a gradient.
#16 - If your design has a combination of Comic-Sans, colored with a gradient going from bright pink to bright purple, please never show it to a graphic designer... we will laugh at you... a lot...
#17 - When you are satisfied with your design, you will be asked to sign a 'proof'. Signing the proof doesn't mean you are famous and we really want your autograph, it means that you are 100% satisfied with your design and 100% sure everything is correct. Make sure everything is 100% before signing the proof, this doesn't mean 'look at the design for 2 seconds'... MAKE SURE everything is 100%.
If the deal is done and you return later with an overlooked mistake... we will laugh at you some more...
#18 - Designing takes time. If you burst in and demand you want your design 'YESTERDAY!', then you should have asked for the design AT LEAST two days before.
#19 - If you return 2 years later, demanding a refund because you didn't like the end result of the design, we will stare at you in a funny manner.
You don't finish the meal in the restaurant and THEN complain it wasn't to your taste... the same applies to graphic design.
#20 - And probably the most important rule.
Please pay the designer for his time in FULL.
"Special promises" and "valuable experienced gained" won't pay the rent.
This rant may make graphic designers seem as emotionally scarred individuals that despise any client who approaches him, but the truth is, graphic designer love to work with people who equally work WITH them.
Part of a graphic designers job is to find new and innovative ways to make a clients design work FOR him, but if a client is narrow-minded, nothing will be achieved.
I hope future clients will read this and consider their actions before seeing a graphic designer.
Know that a graphic designer is there to help at best of his ability, and isn't their to ruin your artistic 'vision'.
Hopefully, this will inspire clients to fully cooperate with the graphic designer, so both can come up with the best possible design for the job.
Thank you for reading.
Tired
Relief
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Thrilled
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*does the "it's your birthday... it's your birthday... you're another year older... you're closer to death..." dance* 
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Joy
